Bad boys, bad boys whatcha gonna do
Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
Inner Circle “Bad Boys” (Theme from Cops)

I know it’s been a minute and it will be longer after I post this one today cos Mama T is da maddest I ever seent her an I’on know when Ima get out again (or even if she gonna keep me after this).

So, it rained all this mo’nin an we didn’t get our morning walk in so I was too excited when Mama T came an got me to take me to da park. When we got there, wudn hardly nobody there and that was strange cos it usually be packed at all da parks in town. There was probly bout 5 men out but about 30 rabbits and squirrels so I was jumpin all over the place. Mama T told me to calm my azz down or she was gonna take me back home so I sat down for a minute and then started sniffing round some shrubs. Mama T was distracted cos she left her headphones at home and had to play her music through the speaker on da phone. While she was foolin around, I peeped a rabbit and took off.  But cos Mama T wudn payn me no tention an da force made her fall on her azz kinda like Meredith Vieira when she fell on dat ice, cept Mama T ain’t get up cos I kept on runnin and draggin her fat azz on da groun. Da mens came running after us an Mama T was cussin sumthin fierce at me but I was determined to get that damn rabbit. But Mama T weigh too damn much for me to get away from da men afta they circled us so I just sat my black an white azz down and barked.

The men rushed to Mama T ta help her up and she looked at me like she was gonna kill me so I started chewing at da leash so I could get da hell up outta there. Mama T had dirt an mud all on her left side from her shoulder down to her heal. One of da mens was tryna help Mama T wipe da mud an grass off her azz but she told him if he wanted to keep his hand he betta not touch her azz again. He nodded and said, “Yes’m.” But I saw dat smirk on his face; he ain’t slick. Mr. Cop-a-Feel tried to get Mama T to lean on him as they was walkin us to da car but Mama T wudn havn none of dat. When we got to da car, he had da nerve to ask if we needed him to follow-us home or come by an check on Mama T later. She just looked at him an slid her azz in da car without anserin.

We musta sat there 20 minutes while Mama T caught her breath and cussed me out. Damn, Damn, Damn! I think dat’s da end of my park days. Mama T say I was lucky those men wudn tryna put us up on Youtube or she’d be droppin my azz off at the animal shelter so I could become somebody else’s problem. I’on know why she so mean to me when she know I’m bored an ain’t got jack ta do roun hea.

So now she sittin here wid ice all over her body given me da evil eye. Man, I messed up big time dis time. I think Ima go outside so maybe she’ll go to sleep an faget all about what had happened. But I think her neck an back outta whack again an it might be a minute before she talkin to me. Y’all think if I suggest family counslin she’ll keep me roun? I’on wanna be no workin dog. I like bein lazy. Can y’all hep me please? Cos I luv y’all and wud really miss ya.

The canine who loves you most,
Donna